The next aspect of the fruit of the Spirit is “gentleness” (Galatians 5:23). This is defined as being “mild, kind,” or “not being rough, violent, harsh, or severe.” Some people may be born with a natural gentle demeanor, but the fruit of the Spirit that is gentleness is to conduct yourself with sensitivity and consideration for others.

Gentleness is a characteristic that enables others to feel that they can get close to you and be safe. If you are wondering why it seems that people do not want to be close to you, a lack of this characteristic of the Spirit could be the problem. Those who are harsh will repel others like a thornbush. The more gentle you are, the closer people will usually feel that they can get to you.

In Psalm 18:35King David writes, “You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great” (NKJV). David, one of the greatest warriors in the Old Testament, said that it was the Lord’s gentleness that made him great. How is this? Gentleness has been the presumed nature of nobility because it is the basis for a truly noble character, which is why they are called “gentlemen” or “gentle ladies.” To be gentle not only demonstrates caring for others, but also demonstrates the wisdom of restraint and self-control.

This is why it is also a very basic apostolic characteristic as we read in such Scriptures such as II Corinthians 10:1, “Now I, Paul, myself am pleading with you by the meekness and gentleness of Christ...” (NKJV). Artists often like to portray this gentleness of Christ, showing Him carrying a lamb or mixing with children. Though it is amazing to think of the Creator of the universe like this, it is accurate. God is a very gentle Person. The Holy Spirit is even portrayed as a dove, possibly the most gentle and sensitive of birds.

Therefore, gentleness is a characteristic of the truly spiritual, just as Paul implied in Galatians 6:1, “Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted” (NKJV). Redemption and restoration are the primary business of the Lord on this earth, and gentleness is essential for all who are involved in His work.

I am very much a “type A” personality. I am a goal-oriented builder. I like to get things done and see the results. When we purchased the Grand Hotel and Conference Center which was formally called PTL or Heritage USA, it looked so devastated and run-down that we were able to purchase it for the value of the land, subtracting the cost of tearing down all of the buildings and removing the rubble. It simply looked too run-down to restore. However, in just a few weeks we had a certificate of occupancy and were able to hold church services there for our congregation. In a few more months, nearly 20 percent of the rooms were restored and usable. In a year to eighteen months we expect to have the job completed, the entire facility restored to like new or better. This is getting done by a team who are all “get r’ done” types. If you put any of these in a situation, you could come back after just a while and find that something was done. I like and feel most comfortable around those types, but I don’t think “gentleness” would be the first thing anyone would think of in relation to any of us.   

So how do we reconcile this with the ultimate purpose of God to “restore all things?” First, we have to always keep in mind that a single soul is far more valuable than all buildings, and that our main job in the ministry is building people, not things. People are far more fragile than all of this steel and lumber. You wouldn’t want to see a surgeon come in with a tool kit of hammers and chainsaws—a person’s soul is far more fragile than their body is. We may need a sledgehammer when remodeling a building, but not when trying to help renew a person. This is why Paul wrote in II Timothy 2:24-25, “And the Lord's bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.”

Think about this: “the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome.” When we become harsh in our arguments in defense of the gospel, we actually depart from the nature of the Spirit of truth who can alone penetrate the veil of deception and lead someone to the truth. There is a certain dignity with which the King always conducts Himself, which is also required of His representatives. Even when correcting those who are in opposition to the gospel, we must be gentle. The reason for this is explained in Proverbs 15:1-2, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly.”

As Paul also wrote in Ephesians 4:1-3, “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Here we see that to walk in a manner worthy of our calling requires gentleness.

Colossians 3:12-13 states, “And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” We see here that compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience are all linked together, which is a heart that we are to “put on.” How do we do that?

We put on our clothes every day before meeting other people. Mature, considerate people consider who they are meeting and dress appropriately. To not do so is to show disrespect for the person with whom you are meeting. This is so important to the Lord that in Matthew 22 the Lord taught that if someone came to a wedding feast not dressed appropriately, they would be thrown into the outer darkness. Certainly He did not mean this just for weddings, but the principle is to come to an occasion dressed appropriately as a basic show of respect for those who invited you. If this is true of our clothes, how much more should it be true of our behavior?

In this way we should consider the people with whom we are meeting and put on the appropriate demeanor, and gentleness is always appropriate. Once when I was walking near Buckingham Palace in London, I felt the Lord ask me what I would do if I met the Queen. Thinking that this was about to happen, I thought of all the protocol I knew, which was not much, so I simply thought that I would treat her with as much respect as I knew how. Then I felt the Lord say that His church is His bride, the true queen, and that I should also likewise treat her with the utmost respect whenever I addressed her. Even if you had to bring some correction to a queen, you would do it with the respect and dignity that her place requires, and we should even consider this more so when we bring correction to a church.

Because all people were made in the image of God, they are therefore worthy of being treated with dignity and respect, even if they have lost that for themselves. To do so can help raise such people out of the pit they have fallen into. To treat someone with gentleness is a very basic expression of respect. Even Peter, the rugged former fisherman wrote, “but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence” (I Peter 3:15).

This is why we are told in James 3:13, “Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.” Gentleness is an unmistakable quality of true wisdom that comes from above.

After reciting the traps laid for those who pursue earthly riches, Paul concludes his exhortation in I Timothy 6:11-12, “But flee from these things, you man of God; and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called...” So gentleness should be one of the pursuits that we have so that we might walk in a manner worthy of our calling, in the wisdom that comes from above.